Friday, December 23, 2011

Girlie Logic on Driving

I'm driving home tonight on the interstate when a cop zooms around me and starts riding the bumper of the car in the next lane.  I'm thinking to myself, "This poor guy is about to be pulled over" when the cop car continues to ride their bumper and then finally gives up and zooms around him.  This little scene really got my panties in a bundle.  I've got three speeding tickets under my belt right now (currently awaiting my court date for the third one) and the hypocrisy of the police officer has inspired this posting.

How roadways should be according to me:
First, stop signs should be a suggestion.  If I can see that there is no one coming, I should be able to keep on going.  I do not want my car to get hit, so I promise I will stop if you are coming towards my vehicle.
Second, it is impossible for my car to go the speed limit.  Therefore, speed limits should be for those who feel the need to be limited.  In my world, the idea of speed limits should be assigned to different lanes of the road.  For example, on a four lane highway, the right lane can go 55, the second lane can go 60, the third lane can go 65, and the left lane can do whatever it wants.  This lane is reserved for the limitless.
Third, there should ALWAYS be a right turn lane, just for the sake of turning.  I hate it when I'm sitting there, second in the lane to turn right, and the person in front of me wants to go straight.  Dude, you are constipating my flow of traffic.  Be courteous and move over a lane.
Fourth, why is there a need for slower speeds in neighborhoods?  Kids don't play outside anymore.  They are playing video games or texting and doing other non-creative things.  And if a child perhaps actually goes outside due to, I don't know, a power outage, I would see said child and dodge him.  After all, I'm old enough that I played dodge ball as a child, so I'm pretty good at it.
Fifth, related to the fourth, cars should not have to stop for pedestrians.  You are slow and I am in a hurry or distracted.  You should be the one paying attention, you fragile human being with your lack of air bags and safety features.  Me passing you by is not going to take nearly as long as me waiting for you to cross the road.  My car trumps you in every way.

Drive safely everyone during this holiday season and please, whatever you do, do NOT drink and drive.  Mwah.

No comments:

Post a Comment